Drama, trolleys and bodily fluids flooded into this week’s Britain’s Got Talent, as some acts shocked and amazed while others failed to make an impression. Read on for my thoughts on the good, the bad and the outright wacky...
Diabetic, one-eyed, John opened the show; he carries stuff on his head (and looks like he may have dropped a few things on there too). There is no doubt about it, he is very good at what he does, there were certainly a lot of buckets on his head, although why there was a picture of a gorilla on them I’m not sure. But in all honesty I can’t see John slapping his belly in front of the queen.
Jay is almost a mini Michael Bublé, but at 15 years old I think he may be too inexperienced for the competition. In my opinion, there are better singers who have gone through and his slightly generic version of Cry Me a River just didn’t cut it. The Hoff agreed and said “no” to Jay and as he didn’t think that Jay’s voice was trained enough. Amanda and Michael disagreed (despite Michael’s feinting) and Jay went through to the next round, where hopefully he will improve.
Thirty-two year old Lorna was a dead ringer for Britney Spears, but bless her she didn’t have the voice to match. Never mind though, because she found an easy way to distract everyone from her singing, by wearing only a thong and some strategically placed diamonds (well diamantes). Shockingly the Hoff was the first to buzz this act and all the judges said no, even Amanda despite getting some lady kisses.
Singer Jai was the picture of nerves as he walked on to the stage and he seemed to hold on to the microphone for dear life. However, he became visibly stronger as he sang his way through the anthem of Chess and his last rousing note was pure magic. Jai had the audience and Amanda on their feet and went flying through to the next round.
Circus of Horrors
Disgusting and delightful, this act had everything including fire limbo, people in jars, a woman hanging from the ceiling by her hair and a German former tax inspector swallowing swords. There were several things going on all at once, which gave this act great visual impact and it had fantastic style, but I also thought it seemed a little bit confused. In the next round it would be great to see more choreography and interaction between the performers, just to take it to that next level.
Two and a Half Men
Cute in every sense of the word Andreas, Patrick and (lovely) Paulius were a high energy dance trio, who pulled out all the stops in their fantastic performance. Complete with bow ties and an adorable name (the half is because Patrick is a little bit smaller than the other two) these boys might be my new favourite. Sorry Razy.
The Highwaymen are all drummers in the Royal Marines and precision timing, nifty costumes, and glowing drumsticks all came together to make this a very tight act. Shockingly Amanda and Michael said ‘no’ to the lads and for a short time it looked like they were out of the competition. However, Ant and Dec were having none of it, and came out on stage to protest while the audience booed the judge’s decision. The Highwaymen were called back and Amanda and Michael agreed that they should go on to the next round. That’ll teach them for putting through singing dogs and not highly trained musicians.
The Best (and Worst) of the Rest
An Entertaininator, incredible make-up from acrobatic group called Enchantment, a synchronised trolley group , someone named “watching porn”, a scared lady, a bleeding hand and a puking skateboarder.
Inside Hoff’s Head
“La la la” We got a brief show of musical brilliance from the Hoff. Possibly a follow up to Jump in my Car?
Ant and Dec joke of the week
Dec (to the nearly naked Lorna, referring to her cardigan): “You can put your thing back on if you like”
Ant: “What did you say that for!?”
About the author
Clemmie Robinson is a postgraduate student studying Magazine Journalism at Cardiff University. She loves any talent contest, big or small and for this reason delights in filling her Saturdays with a big dose of Britain’s Got Talent. Follow her on twitter @clemmierob.