Since December, something has not been right, something has been missing and the days and nights have felt so long…I wonder what’s wrong?
But, on the morning of Saturday 13th April, the sun began to shine again, What's happening? Oh yes, I know…welcome back to the best in reality TV, welcome back to Britain’s Got Talent.
With the bells of sweet success still ringing in my ears after predicting last year’s winner, (thank you and well done to Ashleigh and Pudsey) here we go all over again. Get in.
So after the opening musical extravaganza, a open air surprise montage including some of our old favourites, let's welcome our first superstar audition.
Mother and daughter, Dawn and Cindy, aka Two's Country, kicked us off but it was all a bit, well, depressing. Next.
After a song about constipation and a man being a human dog, (I'm not making this up) we finally met an act worth watching.
Gospel Singers Incognito, were a breath of fresh air, pure originality, and the reason this show is such a success. Where else would you see this, well obviously a church, but you know what I mean?
Comedians historically struggle on BGT, think tumbleweeds in the desert, so I wasn't really looking forward to the next segment.
Colin Smith, Jonathan Hines and Paul Stark stood up to years of tradition and were absolutely pants (mum that means rubbish).
Can 14 year old Jack Carroll break the mould??
Jack was born with Cerebral Palsy and uses a walking frame to enter the stage, you could feel the tension, but when Simon asked him to tell us a little more about himself, Jack replied “I’m a professional gymnast”. A comedy star is born.
His act was fun, and his personality shone threw like a golden ray of sunshine. We certainly haven't had much of that lately. Jack, get a hotel booked for semi finals night.
As the auditions continue, we are told Simon is feeling unwell, but, the show must go on without him.
You can tell 'my Simon' is missing because the remaining judges put through some of the worst acts EVER. Martin Healy, who literally danced with a home-made broom, with a woman's face on it (again, I'm not making this up). Why, I ask?
So with David, Alesha and Amanda acting like naughty kids, its time for the gatekeeper to return. Welcome back Simon.
11 year old Arixandra gave us our first 'wow' singer of the 2013 series, when she effortlessly took on and cruised through Jennifer Hudson's 'One Night Only'. Her performance was world class, the vocal faultless. What a future this young girl has.
Now, what every talent show needs is someone doing exercises on a chair. I wonder if anyone in the UK does this?
Step forward Kerri Graham, a choreographer, fitness instructor and a chair exerciser (I swear Editor, I'm not making this up)
Sadly though, if it wasn't for David asking (dragging) Simon on to the stage to join in, this would have been forgettable. Sorry Kerri. Full marks for having a better six pack than me though.
When shadow dancers Attraction entered the stage, I really had no idea what to expect. The nine strong troupe went on to give the performance of the night. It was visually strong, very emotional and thought provoking. Mrs Midas even said it's the kind of act she would pay to see. That is a huge compliment.
Attraction are already on my shortlist as a potential winner. Can't wait to see what they do next.
So as we drew to the end of a fantastic opening show, we met a very nervous Alice Debenham, I mean Fredenham.
Fighting back her obvious nerves, Alice sang, 'My Funny Valentine'. Her voice was, as Simon said "like liquid gold"
I 100% agree and I would sign her to my Midas agency tomorrow. See you at the live shows Alice.
Right, show over, I'm off to do some chair exercises. See you next week.
Browse our gallery of the first episode below: