Roxanne Pallett has said she contemplated suicide in the wake of her time on Celebrity Big Brother.
Roxanne took part in Celebrity Big Brother's final ever series last year but her appearance by marred with controversy.
The actress ended up walking out of the house after the so-called 'punchgate scandal' involving fellow housemate Ryan Thomas last autumn.
Roxanne caused outrage over allegations she made against Ryan accusing him of 'assaulting' her after a playful punch.
The scenes saw Roxanne face a backlash from viewers while she also lost a number of lucrative gigs including panto and her own radio show.
Now, six months on, she's opened up about the fallout from the incident in an interview with The Sun newspaper.
Roxanne told the tabloid: "Yes I’ve lost everything, and I lost myself. I’ve lost my career, my radio jobs, my life as I knew it, everything. I’ve only got my mum, my auntie and two friends now who I trust implicitly.
“Sometimes it takes losing everything to see who stays around for you during your worst days and not just the best days. I’m grateful for those people but I did hit rock bottom."
“But I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me, because it’s my fault, 100%. I take full responsibility. But like everyone who makes a mistake I just want to be allowed to learn from it and move forward because nobody can punish me more than me.”
Roxanne told the newspaper in the weeks after the show she experienced abuse in the streets, including being spat at.
“After I left Big Brother, I was advised to leave the country and get away for my own safety, because the hate was so much. I got threats and everyone I used to have around me had disappeared," she added.
In an candid confession, Roxanne admitted she found herself writing a suicide message to her family in the run up to Christmas.
“I sent a message to my mum, my auntie and my two friends. I was saying sorry and goodbye," she recalled. "They all panicked, called each other and my mum left work to rush and get to me. That was when they all realised I needed urgent help. I went to Scotland the next morning and began EMDR and CBT therapy for PTDS panic disorder.”
Roxanne insisted she wasn't making "excuses", confirming previous reports that she had penned a letter to apology to Ryan.
“I believe he’s got it, but I didn’t expect him to reply and I’d never expect that of him, I can’t ask anything of him or his family or friends,” she explained. “This has been the biggest wakeup call of my life and I’m just devastated I let my own issues affect another person in the way that they did. It’s my fault."
Last year, Ryan called on people to give Roxanne a break after the series.
He said: "I think Roxanne has been through a lot. CBB makes headlines and sometimes for the wrong reasons. It's time we look forward. She's suffering enough. I don't want to be part of it."
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