Alexandra Burke has admitted to feeling guilt over her Strictly Come Dancing success.
The X Factor singer is a favourite to win Strictly this and has been enjoyed top marks from the judges.
But when Alexandra scored a near perfect 39 out of 40 last month, it ended in tears as she broke down on TV over the tragic recent death of her mother.
Alexandra's mum sadly passed away in August just before the Strictly launch show.
"If I could lock up my grief and my emotions in a box, I would. I’m not somebody who wants to cry on TV," Alexandra said. “I’ve tried really hard not to, but following our jive the emotion just got too much for me."
Discussing her top scoring dance, Alexandra went on: "I wasn’t that happy with it in rehearsal and I wasn’t expecting to get the high scores I did, so that minute and 37 seconds on the dance floor felt electric. It was the happiest I’ve been for a long time.
“But then I saw my brother in the audience and my delight turned to overwhelming sadness as I imagined my mum sitting alongside him. I immediately felt guilty for feeling such joy.”
Alexandra went on to confess she had been trying to keep her feelings away from rehearsals and pro partner Gorka Marquez.
She added to the Radio Times magazine: “I don’t want to bring my personal stuff to rehearsals. The rehearsal room has become my sanctuary. It is a happy place where I force myself to leave my grief at the door and focus on being creative and having fun.”
Strictly Come Dancing returns to TV this Saturday evening and Sunday night as the remaining celebs fight for a spot in the Blackpool special.