Eurovision is great fun but it's not always the easiest viewing experience. It's long, it's often boring, it's can be amateurish and it's ponderous. Here are a few tips to help you make the most of your viewing experience.
Firstly, invite your friends. Ideally, you want friends who are fans of X-Factor or Glee. You would probably only admit to watching Eurovision 2011 among close friends. It's a fun vice, best combined it with your other fun vices, so have a drink and prepare to forget about the outside world for a few hours. But make sure you pace yourself in order to make the most of the whole thing. A spot of Eurovision betting can also make the evening pass more swiftly.
Secondly, make sure you behave like Simon Cowell. You will see a wide range of quality at Eurovision. There will be cheesy Eurotrash, painfully amateur performances, brilliant pop songs and lots of avant-garde design. So be vocal about what you find good and bad - there is a lot to like and a lot to criticise too. And remember that each song is only 3 minutes long, so the next great thing could be just around the corner.
Finally, there are two semi-finals in the week before the big night. If you are watching Eurovision for ironic value, these are the nights to watch. This is where the worst performances - and often some of the most interesting - are weeded out. It's a great night for fans of atrocious music.