There's less than a day to go until the launch of this summer's Big Brother and we reckon we can say with some certainly what will happen this series.
There will be cries of a fix
There's almost always some sort of Big Brother conspiracy whether it's producers supposedly wanting someone in, out or shaking it all about. Sometimes those claims may have some substance but most of the time it's just sour grapes.
A housemate will say they want to leave
Probably more than once. And of course they'll never actually go.
Housemates will insist they don't care about the money
But make a quick exit should there be any twist involving walking out with some cash.
Someone will be accused of bullying
To be fair, they may well be a bully but more likely they just looked at another housemate a bit funny.
A SHOCK TWIST... that's been done time and time before
A secret house next door or perhaps...
Face to face nominations
Where things rarely ever get interesting as the group generally decide to nominate the least confrontational and quiet contestants because 'they want to go home'.
Live feed will end just as things get interesting
That is, when the live feed is actually being broadcast for 45 minutes one day a week.
The 'wrong' person will win
And another housemate will be declared the 'real winner', whatever that title means.
The live crowd will boo EVERYONE
Probably even the winner, if previous years are anything to go by.
Bit On The Side will turn into a shambles
Whether it's drag queens falling over, drunk audience members or actual fights forcing the show off air, it's trash telly (and we love it!)
Big Brother 2017 starts Monday, June 5 at 8:30PM on Channel 5.