New X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos has revealed she tried to commit suicide twice as a teenager, attempting to slit her wrists less than 5 years ago. In a chat with The Independent, Tulisa also spoke frankly about trying to take an overdose at the age of just 14.
“I don’t think I wanted to die,” Tulisa explained . “I was kind of like, ‘I can’t think of any other way to deal with all this.’ If I thought like that now, I’d want to slap myself.”
It came after Tulisa found herself caring for her mum who suffers from her schizoaffective disorder.
Tulisa previously confessed to a tough childhood, admitting she had gotten into the 'wrong crowds' at school. In an interview earlier this year, she claimed she was “lucky” to have lost her virginity at 14, adding: “I smoked weed when I was a kid and got into fights. We did pinch a couple of handbags. I wasn’t part of a girl gang, though.
“We were just a group of troublesome chicks. Obviously, we were consuming so much weed and alcohol, we were going loopy anyway.”
But hitting back at criticism for those confessions, Tulisa said: “I was being slated because I’d said I’d smoked weed. I said: ‘Hang on. There are so many celebrities out there who do cocaine but you don’t know it because they don’t admit it, and these are celebrities whose posters are on kids’ walls.’
“At least I have the balls to stand up and say I made a mistake.”
Explaining going 'off the rails' as a youngster, Tulisa said in the honest interview: "I'd been trapped with my mother for so long, and here were all these kids living miniature adult lives outside the home, and I was like: I want to do this. I want to be free."
Fortunately Tulisa turned it around: "I woke up one morning and thought: I'm not going to be unhappy anymore," she says.
And looking back on her younger self, Tulisa admits: "I feel very sorry for her. Sometimes I think I want to go back and rescue her but then I had to learn to become the person I am now."
Now her career is coming along in leaps and bounds, having recently signed a solo record deal with Island Records, but Tulisa says it's been a long time coming: "From 11, I was writing songs and saving money so I could put up videos on YouTube and going to pirate radio stations with holes in the floor."
Perhaps looking to give someone else the chance she got, Tulisa is a judge on The X Factor. She is joined by fellow new judges Gary Barlow and Kelly Rowland, who join Louis Walsh when X Factor returns to ITV1 on Saturday at 8pm.